Do you know how sometimes your kids hear stuff in the news that you really wish they hadn’t heard?  Let’s take a few minutes to talk about what we can do when that happens…

In 1967, the Beatles song “A Day in the Life” began with the line “I read the news today, oh boy…” Do you remember it?  Listen to it here to bring back some memories.

That was a long time ago.  That was a different world.  We were much younger.  We were much more innocent.

I read the news today, oh boy…

It seems like today, reading (or watching or downloading or subscribing to or tweeting) the news is often an invitation into some of the sadder and darker parts of the human experience.  Perhaps it was always like that.  I don’t remember watching the news much until I was, at least, in high school and I didn’t watch it every day or pay very much attention to it until I was in my twenties, married and living on my own.  The news… was big people stuff.

I don’t watch it anymore.

Our kids get the news faster than we ever did.  It comes to them on their phones, their google readers, their Itouches and IPads.  They see it unfold in real time on their Facebook feed, their Tweets and even on their laptops.  For good measure, just in case they missed it, their friends will text them the juiciest bits of news!  It comes in unfiltered and raw, often unedited and at full force faster than we used to be able to even say “Hot off the presses”.  Yup, it’s hotter than that.  It comes to them so fast and so often that we, as the adults who love them, do not have the chance to decide if what they see and hear “in the news”  is something that they are ready for or can even begin to understand.

I read the news today, oh boy…

All of this is just stuff we have gotten used to.  We know it’s not the best thing ever, but we have come to accept that our kids will read, hear and see all of the ugliest details about Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Jon and Kate, Michael Jackson, the octomom and even poor Gary Coleman.  Ever since the good old Clinton years, when even our president provided some of the most unappetizing dinner table conversation, we have come to accept that the innocence we enjoyed through childhood has been dramatically shortened by what’s “in the news”.  Our kids hear and see too much, too soon.

Hopefully, we still talk to our kids about these “news items”.  Just because we can not shelter them or control whether or not they are exposed to it we can not become numb to it.  Hopefully we take the time to remind our kids that these are not “news items”, they are human beings.  In all their brokenness, sadness and troubles, they are still children of God and need our prayers, not our judgment or ridicule.  Hopefully, some of the issues these “news items” raise like addiction, promiscuity, infidelity, fame, and worse can be jumping off points for conversations with our kids about who they are, who God is and what God wants for all of us, including those “in the news”.  These are important conversations and we have to be having them.  Our kids need us to stay involved in it, even though we can no longer prevent it from reaching them.  We can not just turn away and pretend they aren’t picking it up.  Scary, I know…

I read the news today, oh boy…

So, it certainly is scary to talk about even when it is happening to or around some far off celebrity that we will never meet, or some poor family in Florida whose name we don’t even remember the next day.

How much scarier is it when we know the players?

How do we as parents handle it when we recognize the addresses and the names in the paper?

How do we have these already tough conversations when they center around people we actually know or have spent time with?

What do we say to our kids when they ask us why someone they know just got arrested or what certain words mean?

What do we do when faced with hard questions and tough conversations that we were not ready to have with our kids yet about things they probably are not ready to hear which may or may not have been done by someone they know?

What do we say when our kids come running off of the school bus yelling “guess who got arrested!”?

I do not have a simple answer.  I am confused myself.

I do know that, ready or not, we have to figure out what to say and how to say it.  Our kids are asking, the barn door is already open.  We can not ignore it.

We need to find a way to talk about compassion, grace and forgiveness.  We need to find a way to talk about being safe and careful and knowing what to do if our kids themselves are ever feeling uncomfortable with or around someone they should be able to trust.  We need to be careful not to make them scared or un-trusting.  We need to not introduce shame into the situation.  We need to find a way to talk about how sometimes our human brokenness can drive us to do some pretty awful things.  We need to find a way to talk to our kids about not gossiping.  We need to talk about things like innocent until proven guilty.  We need to talk about what justice looks like if people are found guilty.  We need to help them learn how to care for the victims whose lives just got pretty messed up and pretty public.  We might even need to define for our kids what certain terms or words or actions that they read about in the paper mean.  We need to pray with our kids…  We need God’s help.

This is all tricky.  I am providing some links to some resources that you might find useful.  I am also inviting you to call or email if you are struggling with what to do about this in your family.  I know I am.  Maybe, we can all help each other move faithfully through these kinds of situations when they come up.  Maybe, as a community of Disciples, we can figure out what to do with stuff like this…

Links to help when life and the conversations get difficult:

Strategies for Talking and Listening

Age-by-Age insights

Discussion Starters

Work it out through play

From the Children’s Movement

From Parenting Magazine

From AHA! Parenting – Tools for communication

Special focus on Dads

Image by AndyeMcee via Flickr

POP..POP, POP…. POP.. PPPOPPOPPPOPP…  It was one of the strangest sounds I had ever heard. If you stood with me outside of our house in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania last Wednesday you would have heard it too. POP, POP, POP… POP.. POP, POP.  It was unceasing from about 1:30 in the afternoon until after the sun went down.

Not terribly loud like gunshots, but crisp, distinct, loud enough and so frequent that we would have to raise our voices slightly to have a normal conversation. POP, POP…PPPOPPOPPOPPP…. POP, POP, POP. Hour after hour, every time I went outside.  It was coming from every direction. Surprising, out of the ordinary, POP, POP,POP… POP, POP…   POP, POP, POP.

The Great Ice storm of 2011 had been pelting our area for the last 20 hours or so; before that, snow, about 4 inches.  An unremarkable snow… but the ice, now that was worth mentioning. It came from a storm system that had blanketed the majority of the United States. A 3000 mile wide swath of nasty winter weather that shout down Chicago, caused snow in Texas, and literally turned off the sun for a day as it passed overhead and left Ice, snow, sleet, rain and stillness in it’s wake.

The storm had moved out and we were outside getting ready to plow and slide our way back to life. The blacktop, the rocks, our cars, our house, the previously deposited snow on the ground, even the trees, trunks, branches, limbs and twigs, were coated with 1/2″ of ice.  Walking was treacherous, driving a loosing bet and shoveling required chipping and cracking first, followed by hours on a heating pad for your back later.

Schools, airports, and business were closed. Anything and everything outside, whether living or dead was encased in ice. It was if this storm, this passing and temporary set of circumstances had succeeded in covering up and stopping life. I was tempted to turn right around, go back inside and hibernate until spring, and then… POP, POP, POP… POP, POP. I heard this sound.

“What was that sound?” I thought. “Why was it not stopping?”

It was the ice. I could hear it cracking and popping, like when you drop ice cubes into a glass of water. POP, POP… The relentless sound of life trying to free itself.  POP…POP, POP, POP. This ice which was seeking to stop growth, bury life and leave us feeling hopeless was being slowly stripped by the light and warmth of day. POP, POP… there it is again.  Like Grace sweeping away the worst of what we do, or think, or say. Life will not allow itself to be overtaken.

How often do we feel overcome by a temporary storm in our lives?  How often do we believe that it is hopeless to try to dig out from under the devastating effects of a storm passing through?  How easy would it be sometimes to just give up? Don’t do it.  Stand in the sun and the light. Do you hear it?  Wait for it… POP, POP… POP… POP, POP, POP…PPOPPOPPPPP!  The sound of Grace.

Where do you here the sounds of Grace in your life today?  Where is the ice cracking?  Where is life returning for you?

They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

Psalm 145:7

As I focus this week on all of the blessings that I am thankful for, the young people, the volunteers, the staff and the entire community here at Trinity are high on that list.  During the transition process, and even just among the normal day to day tasks that consume all of our time and energy, sometimes it is too easy to forget to look at the blessings, the richness, the strengths and the excitement of opportunity that God constantly swirls around us.

It is in that spirit of intentionally seeking out blessing and living in utter thankfulness as the psalmist in Psalm 34:1 personifies “I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.” that I offer this list to you.

Student Ministry news to be thankful for:

• The following vision statement drafted and approved by the young people of Student Ministry: We will try to be a community of young people interested in helping one another explore their faith journey through service, discipleship, relationships with others, fun experiences and learning about our faith, our church, our lives and the larger world.  This community will dedicate itself to learn to trust God and each other. We will seek to help one another grow in our faith in a way that is relevant to our daily lives so that we can be prepared to openly and honestly face the challenges in our lives with a faith that lasts.
• The following mission statement drawn up by those same young souls:  In order to achieve our vision, we will work to be a community that respects all by living in a way that models forgiveness and acceptance. We will strive toward being a welcoming community that is non-judgmental, meeting people where they are.  We will help each other to be inviting by living this program with enthusiasm.

Amazing thoughts and goals.  Thank you God for putting this on the hearts of our young people and for giving them the words to express it

• The passion, energy, ideas, bravery and enthusiasm of the 52 volunteers involved in the discernment, visioning and planning teams for Student Ministry in the following areas:
  • Student Leadership
  • Confirmation
  • Sr. High
  • Jr. High
  • Mission projects  and trips

Thank you God for these souls and their creative ideas.  Thank you for allowing us to be guided in Your Word, inspired by Your Spirit and engaged in work according to Your Will.  I could not do anything without these people.

• Our exciting Friday Night Light Sr. High gatherings.  We have added this to our schedule this year and have met three times.  Each time God has seen fit to double the number of young people attending.  Our last event had nine young folks gather together so we could play games, run around and have a conversation on Jesus’ call to us to erase the distinction between us and them and to truly learn to love our friends as well as our enemies.

Thank you God for providing us with a place to gather, bodies to use when we play and brains to think about Your Word.

• An energized and renewed confirmation program in D2D.  By adding guest speakers, combining the second and third year classes, seeking out relevant ways to bring discipleship and scripture to life, we are feeling a new energy and excitement among the young people who attend.  By adding the weekend retreats, we are watching community be built and strengthened right before our eyes.

Thank you God for providing us with a desire to grow in discipleship.  Thank you for giving us parents that bring us to D2D.  Thank you for all of the experiences and ways that you continue to speak to your Children even today.  Thank you for giving us ears to hear.

May your Thanksgiving be blessed and may you be aware of the absolute bounty that God has provide for you.  May your sense of gratitude push away any feelings of lack or want.  May Jesus’ life and continued presence be strengthening and redeeming for you so that you may live in the Joy for which we were all created.

Peace to you.

When it comes to the confirmation program at Trinity, the most important thing to me is _________.

The challenge to fill in the blank in that statement was given to the 150 – 200 young people and their parents who attended the Family Information Night for D2D last week.  That is an important statement to have considered.  We wanted to start the night by asking the students and their families to tell us what they hold most important about the sacred journey known as confirmation.  What would you say to fill in the blank?

Some of the answers we heard were:

• Faith Journey
• Discovery
• Open minded
• Re-affirmation of covenant of Baptism
• That the young people get something out of it
• Being together in community
• Being prepared for when they have to choose to reaffirm their Baptism
• OK to question
• Being connected to a church community
• A connection to God, Jesus and the Bible
• That the young people understand that what they are participating in is a covenant and that this journey is a serious time in their lives

Was your “fill in the blank” mentioned?

This is certainly not an all inclusive list, but it is a great start.  These are the things that sprung to mind and we are so thankful that you shared them.  These are all very important, not just to you, but to the program, the Guides, and the students.

We have assembled a team of youth and adults to serve as a visioning team for confirmation.  We will be spending a few months looking at what goals we are trying to achieve, what methods do we use to achieve them and what is the success rate.  During this process we will be taking into account all of the things you have told us are most important to you about confirmation.

Some of these ideas are already being implemented.  We are already raising expectations for participation in study and service opportunities.  We are creating more resources like the Taking Home Faith inserts so that we can help equip the families to feel more comfortable in their role as primary faith teachers of their young people.  We have added two retreats for each age group to help strengthen and build community.  We will be partnering with Hospitality to take part in the weekly FEAST meal as we serve the larger community.

Please join us by participating or being a partner in prayer as we begin this years D2D discipleship walk.

Tiger McLuen

So, exactly what happened when we held our Exemplary Youth Ministry Conversations?  What a fantastic weekend of learning we shared!  I am so grateful to Tiger McLuen and the 51 people from this community who attended the conversations we had around some of the components of Exemplary Youth Ministry.  I also want to thank the Endowment Board for funding the weekend and enabling us to bring Tiger in.

In the coming weeks I will be sharing much of what was covered in these sessions so that everyone who was unable to attend can still join in the conversation.  Tiger will be sending us his PowerPoint slides so we can share even more of the information.  We will continue the conversation as we move into this exciting year of growth in Student Ministry.

One of the points that was discussed was that “Youth Ministry without a vision becomes a Youth Group”.  Now, it’s important that we understand the difference.  There is nothing wrong with Youth Group.  When done well, it is a safe place to experience fellowship, learn to serve others, and have conversations about God and faith.  Good, good stuff.

Youth Ministry goes one step further though.  Youth Ministry asks the question, “will our children have faith?”  Youth Ministry looks for spiritual growth, not just spiritual language.  Youth Ministry is not about the things we teach our young people, it is about the decisions they make and the lives they lead because of what they have walked through in Student Ministry.

In Matthew 7:20 we read:

Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions

This fall, we find ourselves at the start of a very interesting, challenging and Holy journey.  We are undertaking a visioning and discerning process that will help to unify all of the elements of Student Ministry (CHAOS, Here We Go, D2D and Senior High) under a common vision.  We will be asking the questions and examining the methods we use so that we can move closer to the goal of helping our young people develop their faith so that they can better navigate the world around them, share the Gospel message and move deeper into a discipleship commitment.

We have assembled 5 teams to work through this process.  A student leadership team to craft the vision and mission of the ministry and Jr. High, Sr. High, D2D and Mission Trip teams to carry that vision and mission out.

Our goal is to seek God’s help in uncovering the needs of our young people and their families so that we can better accompany them on their faith journeys.  We ask your prayers, support and feedback during this process.

Please file this under the “food for thought” category.  I came across this blog article written by Pastor Scott Linscott  and it really made me pause and think about how I teach my two sons what I find important.

I want my sons to succeed, to be comfortable socially and financially, to be recognized and rewarded for their talents and gifts, and, oh yeah… I want my sons to be faithful and have a relationship with a living God.

For my older son it was soccer practice, karate practice, application and acceptance into a magnet school for engineering and science and, oh yeah… Sunday School and Confirmation class.  He is about to turn 20 and has been launched into this world to find his way.  Most of the teaching and role modeling that I will ever do for him has already been done.

For my younger son, well, he is only 7 months old so I am really thinking through how to offer him the opportunity to see what I have found to be important priorities as I reach the middle of my life.  I have some choices to make and this blog article really forced me to examine those choices.

Give it a read, give it some thought, share with us what you think about it by leaving a comment and know that parenting is never easy, none of us get it all right but together we are stronger and more equipped than we could ever be alone.  God gave us these miracles of children because He knows what gifts we have for them.

Read Pastor Scott Linscott’s original article here!

Where did the summer go?  Well, for those in Student Ministry at Trinity it went to Charleston SC., Boone County WV., Newark NY., Cruising on the Delaware, and dreaming of an exciting upcoming year.  Mission trips, servant opportunities and moving toward a year filled with relationship building and God seeking have made for one busy summer.  Thank you to all of the students, volunteers and generous folks in this community that have made that all possible.

First things first…  I am aware that the communication of events and times did not come out as efficiently as it could have last year.  I am sorry for any stress or frustration that caused.  Your time and schedules are important and I want to do a better job of that this year.  I am thankful to all of you who have expressed this concern to me.  It is helpful as I seek to serve you and your families better.

OK, Now let’s talk about this year.

We have some great things happening in Student Ministry!

• The launch of Friday Night Light for grades 9 – 12
• The launch of our first Student Ministry free standing small group called “The Girl’s Car”
• The establishment of a team of young people to serve as our Student Leadership Team which will meet monthly to shape and mold the activities, vision and mission for all of Student Ministry while building up student leaders
• The establishment of four visioning teams who will meet monthly to examine the hows and whys of Student Ministry, develop clear goals and vision for the program and ensure that we are utilizing the best methods to reach those goals.  These teams will also carry out the direction provided by our Student Leadership Team
  • Sr. High
  • Jr. High
  • Confirmation
  • Mission Trips
• The addition of two overnight retreats for both our 2nd and 3rd year confirmation students designed to strengthen relationships, build teamwork and community and dive deeper on our confirmation/discipleship journey.
• A greatly increased presence at FEAST as we look for ways to serve alongside the hospitality team in this great ministry

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You are invited to our Kickoff event on Sunday, September 26th from 3:00 to 4:30 PM in Hyson Hall!

This event will be filled with Magic, Imagination and Worship as we come together in community to share in God’s Kingdom.  Bring your whole family since we promise not to be boring or talk to much.  This is open to all, even if you do not have a young person in Student Ministry.

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Don’t Miss Tiger McLuen and Exemplary Youth Ministry!

Click here for more information!